August 28, 2012: Zhumadian Orphanage Visit

August 28, 2012:  Our Journey With Cai Yun to Zhumadian City

After what already seemed like a very full day (see our Registration Day (8.28.12) post), we then departed our hotel in Zhengzhou at 1 pm to make the three hour (one-way) trek to Zhumadian City.   We were told before departing for China that the reason for this trip was to apply for Cai Yun's passport.  The requirement for children to return to their orphanage city for the Chinese passport application to be submitted has recently become a requirement in the China adoption process.  We were concerned about how all the details would work out as we were also told if wanted to visit Cai Yun's orphanage, and only if the orphanage would allow us to visit, that we would have to arrange to go to Zhumadian City again during the few remaining days we were in Zhengzhou, the capitol city of the Henan Province.  We were worried that leaving midday might cause us to get caught up in bad traffic and the passport office may be closed by the time we arrived in Zhumadian City.  We were concerned that taking multiple trips to Zhumadian if we wanted to see the orphanage would be too tiring for Cai Yun.  As always, God worked out all of the many details.  The previous day, we learned the orphanage was willing and seemed very open to us visiting with Cai Yun and our guide was willing to go with us during our passport application trip.  Cai Yun was clearly up to visiting the orphanage, physically and emotionally.  We were grateful our guides had arranged for a private van and driver to take us, which made the trip very comfortable and more efficient.  Our guide, Rita, accompanied us and did all the work of directing the driver and pushing things along at the office in Zhumadian City that processed Cai Yun's passport application.  We then headed to the Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute, Cai Yun's orphanage, where she lived since January 12, 2011.



Cai Yun was used to taking a mid-day nap after lunch so we were glad that she was able to take a good rest, cuddled up with her new ladybug and fleece blanket, on the van ride to Zhumadian City.  We knew this was going to be a very big day for her.

After leaving Zhengzhou, a very large and congested capitol city, the expansive countryside of the Henan Province unrolled in front of us.  Among being considered the cradle of Chinese civilization, with a history dating back to over 5000 years ago, and one of the most populated (with a population of over 94 million) and what was one of the poorest provinces in China, the Henan Province is also known for being agriculturally focused.  We saw many fields and farm related scenery as we zoomed along southward to Zhumadian City.  

Farmers cross in front of us, pulling an old fashioned looking wagon with a small motor bike.  Our guide, Rita, sat in the front passenger seat during our trip.

Cai Yun awoke from her nap refreshed and immediately set to redoing her hairdo, obviously in attempts to make her hair more presentable for her Zhumadian orphanage visit, beautifully replacing her momma's sad, messy pigtail version

As usual, Cai Yun quickly proceeded from what seemed like a sweet and quiet little girl, to bearing her silly side and putting on some major 'tude.

Ms Zhu, one of the orphanage staff members we had met the previous day met us outside Zhumadian City to accompany us to Cai Yun's passport application visit.  The first thing she told Cai Yun was to take off her sweater as it was hot outside (I found this especially amusing since we were constantly forewarened that we would be scolded for not layering our children enough by all kinds of strangers in China and I had purposefully made her wear it).  Then she presented us a photo album half filled with photos of Cai Yun and her friends in the orphanage.  This helped make up for the lack of any photos on the only disposable camera of three that was returned to us by the orphanagtge that we had sent in carepackages.

As we approached Zhumadian City, the motor scooters became thicker, along with densely built rows of dingy, industrial type buildings

As we entered the city core, the thick mass of buildings rose high from the ground

We also saw a number of large buildings and complexes being constructed

After the passport application stop and in route to the orphanage, we were able to stop in front of Cai Yun's school building.  We were told that Cai Yun did not attend school before she came to the orphanage, but was able to complete the first grade during her stay there (2011-2012).  School goes year round in China, but the students had a three week break in August and the new school year would be starting the week after we left Zhengzhou. 

Approaching the gates at the entrance of the Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute, which was our next stop and the one we so hoped for.





Driving through the gates of the Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute, we could only get a fleeting glimpse of the property and building as the van quickly drove forward to drop us off.  Now that I can look back at our photos, I think it is interesting and somewhat ironic how the orphanage was designed, complete with with turrets.  From what we were told, the building was opened in the fall of 2010 and the orphanage is new to international adoptions.  That explained why I could not find hardly anything on Zhumadian's orphanage when I dug and dug upon seeing Cai Yun's file.

Immediately as our van circled in front of the orphanage building, a small boy managed to dart excitedly out of the front doors unaccompanied.  Cai Yun giggled and we were told that this little boy and Cai Yun mutually adored one another.  If any of you have read the exceptionally touching book, The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan Saved the Life of Another by Cindy Champnella, you would understand that this little boy was Cai Yun's "baby."  The orphanage staff told us how Cai Yun loved him and spent many hours visiting his room and playing with him.  After being so moved by The Waiting Child story and convinced that we would never hear the end about him from Cai Yun, we inquired about his availability for adoption.  Although a bit sad, we were still very glad when we were told that he was being adopted and his parents were traveling to China a couple months later (in October 2012) to be united with him.  We really hope to get in contact with his new family and keep the two connected over the years.

Cai Yun anxiously waited for us to get her out of the van.  She deliberately left all of the new things we had given her behind, but impatiently indicated that she needed to get back inside the van to retrieve something.  She grabbed the second red bouncy balloon from the two piece set we had given her.  After sweetly greeting her baby boy, she worked at blowing up the balloon for him while he eagerly watched and waited nearby.

As we neared the front entrance of the orphanage, other children and staff started quickly trickling out to greet Cai Yun.  These two girls lived with Cai Yun in the orphanage and shared a room with her.  The one on  the left is around seven years old, the one on the right is ten, and we were told that neither of them were eligible for adoption.  Cai Yun still talks of them almost every day and has since told us their sad stories, causing us to try to make it a point to pray for them every night with her.  We have recently learned that the little boy in the foreground is currently in the process of being adopted by a family in the US - so exciting!

We were led inside the orphanage to a large, airy room that was used for playing, craft projects, and school work.  Cai Yun pointed for us to sit her down in front of the small keyboard and proceeded to play a number of songs for her new parents and the children and orphanage staff that followed us from room to room. 

Many of the songs were old familiar tunes like the Mandarin Chinese version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.   The staff encouraged the children to sing and clap along, which they did for a bit, but they clearly were more interested in and distracted by the foreigners that were the new parents of their beloved Cai Yun.

Throughout the orphanage visit, we tried to capture as much as we could with our camera and little camcorder.  Although we were told there are around 100 babies who lived at the Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute, who we did not see, there were only around ten children that were over one years old.  Cai Yun lived with the four older children, including the two boys (around five years old) and two girls.  She referred to them as her sisters and brothers, which we have discovered is what she calls any boy or girl (this is commonly done by the Chinese as is calling older people "grandmother" or "grandfather").  The five oldest children, including Cai Yun, lived together in a family setting within the orphanage and instead of the typical nannies found at orphanages, an older couple took care of their daily needs, including cooking meals and eating with them, washing clothes, etc. As these "older children" obediently lined up so we could capture some group photos, I noticed the serious and somewhat wistful expressions on all but Cai Yun and her baby who seemed thrilled to be united.  When I look back at these photos, the sadness of the children who remain is powerfully evident.

We were surprised but happy to see the spacious, clean, bright and cheery spaces the children shared.  These are views of the play/school room.

Then we were escorted to the bedroom that Cai Yun shared with her two "sisters."  We laughed at how she discreetly but proudly lifted her dress to show the girls the new underwear she was wearing that we had brought for her.  It seemed like Cai Yun was busily trying to fill them in on all that had happened in the couple days they were apart.

Knowing that this might be the last time for a long while that Cai Yun could see the orphanage or the children she lived with for the year and half since her arrival in January 2011, I tried my best to get good photos of each child with Cai Yun for her to have.  Cai Yun was closest to this girl and after we arrived home to the US, she started constantly comparing herself to her. After initially feeling frustrated by constantly hearing these unfair comparisons and listening to Cai Yun belittling herself, it finally hit me that Cai Yun was most likely suffering from survivors guilt.  After all, why would someone who was pretty, sweet, and smart never be able to be adopted and leave the orphanage like Cai Yun?  It was evident that this question must have been repeatedly playing over and over in Cai Yun's mind.

This was Cai Yun's bed.  Common in Chinese orphanages, the children slept on a sheet of plywood with no pillow.  I was glad to see that at least Cai Yun had a blanket and bamboo mat as some padding.  Cai Yun's little worn hot pink sneakers that were left behind lay under her bed, perhaps for another child, as someone had recently purchased a new pair for her.  The glimpse of her empty bed and sneakers seemed strongly symbolic to me... someone had left a very empty space at the Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute and her name was Zhu Cai Yun...now Rosanna Cai Yun Courtney.

Cai Yun's bed was up against the bed of her 7 year old "sister."  The close proximity of the three girls' beds make it understandable why Cai Yun prefers not to sleep by herself in her own room even almost a few months after coming to the US. 

In May around my birthday, we sent Cai Yun a care package full of pretty spring like items, including a set of butterflies, stickers and jewels for crafts.  I was pleased to see some of the butterflies stuck to the walls of her orphanage bedroom, still there for the two other girls to still enjoy.  Cai Yun seemed so much like a little butterfly to me - a beautiful creature starting a new life. 

Just as quickly as we arrived at the orphanage, we were told by our guide that it was time to go.  She said it would be dangerous for us to drive in the dark and encouraged us to wrap things up.  We still had little gifts to give out, which Cai Yun happily assisted in.  I felt badly as this part became very chaotic and I was concerned that some kids grabbed too many things, while the younger ones ended up with little or nothing.  I asked one of the staff to help even things out, but knew in the back of my mind that I had no control of making things fair or really any better for these children who were left behind.

Cai Yun's little friend just seemed happy to be by her side...

Then we were walked back through the halls to the main entrance.  We were surprised and relieved to see that the orphanage had such cheery images where the children regularly walked. 

As we were hurried back through the hallways, I spied this tile on a wall and was really shocked to see the Bible verse, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, what God had prepared for those who love him."  This is from I Corinthians 2:9 and seemed so profound for what was happening for us and also when considering the fate of some of the orphans who would walk by this tile daily.

We tried to stall and let Cai Yun fully say her good-byes to everyone, while still attempting to catch as much of it on camera.  Cai Yun called this man "grandfather" and he, along with his wife, cared for her while she lived at the orphanage in Zhumadian City.  The weathered man seemed a little sad to see her go, but outwardly refused to show emotion.  I gave him an awkward hug anyway and told him thank you for his care of Cai Yun.  We were told his wife was not able to say a last goodbye to Cai Yun.  Cai Yun later told me the "grandmother" would have been busily cooking dinner for the children during the time of our visit.  

The director of Zhumadian City Children's Welfare Institute presented us with a beautiful piece of straw art that the Henan Province is known for and made sure to interact with Cai Yun before she left.  I wondered how common that type of warm interaction with the children would have been, but tried to not be cynical.  Recently Cai Yun told me the children in the orphanage called this man, bàba (father) since they were sad they had no mother or father.

Making Cai Yun say goodbye to the orphanage staff, most of whom she seemed genuinely fond of, and her friends was so hard.  Asking Cai Yun to part with her little boy almost killed me.

But by this point, we were really being rushed out the door by our guide, so we tried unsuccessfully to put on a smile and say one last goodbye to all those who had touched our little Cai Yun's life.  The same was evident for those who stayed behind the orphanage's doors.



Just as when it was time to say goodbye to Ms Zhu and Ms Yu the previous day, our Forever Family Day, a wave of sadness hit and tears started quietly rolling down Cai Yun's face as she knew this was really her last goodbye, at least for some time.  As her daddy carried her back to the van, Cai Yun sadly turned back to look once more at her little friends and those who cared for her last year and a half.

Her two "sisters" could no longer stay behind the orphanage doors and came out to watch Cai Yun drive away.  Everyone's forced smiles had pretty much disappeared by now.

As our van rushed away, this food stand and the busyness of Zhumadian City's urban streets quickly once again greeted us as we reached the first corner past the orphanage...

As with the day before, for awhile Cai Yun sadly and quietly looked out the windows of the van as Zhumadian City whirled by. She then took our camera and seemed to try to document as much of the city as she could.

Next Cai Yun busied herself going through the documents that were given to us by the orphanage, including the finding ad that was posted by the orphanage.  Placing an ad in the newspapers with a photo and description of the child is one of the steps all orphanages in China do before being able to release a child's file as ready for adoption...having to go through the motion to "find" the child's birth parents first.  Instead of the uplifting birth announcements we enjoy reading in the US, I can't imagine regularly seeing photo upon photo along with descriptions of all the children who have been abandoned and/or taken to orphanages for other reasons.  Cai Yun showed no emotion when she read her ad.  She obviously had heard the story before and it was no news to her.

We received the extra passport photo that was taken for Cai Yun's Chinese passport.  Cai Yun told us that she loves this photo of her.  Looking almost like a teenager, she has her hair braided and pulled back, is wearing a green shirt and a serious face with no smile.



Cai Yun then studied the other gifts from the orphanage staff including a beautiful chopsticks set with cloisonne handles.

As the three hour return drive progressed, Cai Yun's energy level ramped up and she got sillier and sillier...

...while ours went lower and lower.  Look at her poor papa!

Cai Yun spent at least the last hour of the drive back talking about how hungry she was for noodles. She would hardly touch the snacks we packed for her, even the Chinese ones. Instead she endlessly talked in very fast and animated Mandarin to our guide and driver first about how to cook wontons and then all types of noodles. She got herself worked up into almost a comical frenzy and started saying everything looked like noodles, from the neon lighted signs as we approached Guangzhou to the red tassel strings hanging from the rear view mirror of our van!   Cai Yun even went as far as to say that our van driver, who was somewhat stout in stature looked like a fat noodle (she later changed her mind and said he looked more like a steamed bun!!).  So what do you think her daddy ran to get Cai Yun as soon was we made it back to the hotel in Guangzhou? NOODLES!!!

So after our very long day that started with making our adoption official, getting more documents notarized (see our other post for August 28, 2012), a six hour plus crazy van ride and emotional visit to and from Zhumadian City, our sweet Cai Yun busily sucked down the steaming hot beef noodles as fast as she could get them in her mouth.

Our night ended sweetly as Cai Yun had what had been in her past life a very rare treat for her...ice cream!  Her daddy sure  knows how to make her SMILE!

We savor the moments we finally get to spend with you little girl!

For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.
(Psalm 27:10)